tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post6127489611861880348..comments2020-06-03T08:06:30.913-04:00Comments on Flash Fiction Carnival 2008: January FFC: Forceps by Caleb MarkAnn (bunnygirl)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04938134750150653386noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-84341632153613372692008-02-05T13:40:00.000-05:002008-02-05T13:40:00.000-05:00I'm just reading your work now and now I know what...I'm just reading your work now and now I know what you mean by the similarities! Great minds think alike, huh?<BR/><BR/>I too thought that it was going to be a sci-fi piece but even when it was divulged that it was a birth, the descriptions had be going until the end. For some odd reason, with the mention of word use in a previous comment and it being "too advanced," I can't help but think of Kate Boddiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07563671242585666522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-41486364308106306942008-01-31T11:09:00.000-05:002008-01-31T11:09:00.000-05:00Bravo for you posting your work! It is difficult t...Bravo for you posting your work! It is difficult to do as a new writer. <BR/><BR/>I liked the concept of the story, however it would be a better read, it the fetus/infant showed some personality as opposed to what he did. <BR/><BR/>Did the changes scare him? What did he think was going to happen when things started over crowding. Would an infant us such large words or would they call it gook Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-4082817895243175022008-01-30T17:34:00.000-05:002008-01-30T17:34:00.000-05:00Thanks everyone for all the encouraging and insigh...Thanks everyone for all the encouraging and insightful comments. <BR/><BR/>I thought I would explain the reason that I allowed the reader to clue in early that this is a birth. I know of many stories that have a surprise revelation at one specific point. I thought I would make this a story where the reader might clue in at any point along the way, depending on their knowledge of birth. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-32278938374102099922008-01-29T20:29:00.000-05:002008-01-29T20:29:00.000-05:00This is very cool! Like others before me, I thoug...This is very cool! Like others before me, I thought at first that this was a sci-fi piece. I caught on pretty quickly that it was actually about birth, but it still held my attention until the very end. My only criticism is that you should find more ways to keep the reader wondering for as long as possible. Good work overall!AlannahJoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15458416463383853840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-58905182038626835462008-01-23T18:53:00.000-05:002008-01-23T18:53:00.000-05:00Great story! What an interesting and original per...Great story! What an interesting and original perspective. I, too, thought it was going to be a sci-fi piece at first. It's nice to be surprised, and you certainly "delivered". Okay, that was my one pun for the entire day. I'll stop now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-70867923510120016302008-01-22T22:59:00.000-05:002008-01-22T22:59:00.000-05:00You have a very clear writing voice in this piece ...You have a very clear writing voice in this piece and I enjoyed this. I liked the altered perspective and the echo of the new theme; the new developments, new sensations and our narrator as a new life in the world. Well done.Renee M. Solberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12618708310755476695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-77637071455458272112008-01-22T15:49:00.000-05:002008-01-22T15:49:00.000-05:00I like the concept. But more should be done to th...I like the concept. But more should be done to throw the reader off track before revealing that we're dealing with the birth of a child. The twist comes too early.<BR/><BR/>But the writing style is very clean and very objective. I would like to see what else you have writtenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-442576366850092172008-01-22T14:15:00.000-05:002008-01-22T14:15:00.000-05:00Your writing is good. It read more like an encyclo...Your writing is good. It read more like an encyclopedia entry than a story to me, but that doesn't mean it wasn't fascinating and well done. Good work!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068144505560265674.post-68192231576616544332008-01-22T12:11:00.000-05:002008-01-22T12:11:00.000-05:00I really like how this twisted my perception. At ...I really like how this twisted my perception. At first, it sounded like some sort of science-fiction thing, and then I realized that it was describing birth and that really caught me off guard. It was very interesting though, and the writing was clean. Good job.Gwen Mitchellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09485137531132910420noreply@blogger.com